Voices in the Dark

As I go about my day

Life is hard for another in the gravest way

As I sit, sometimes alone

Their fear is greater than what I could ever know

As I prepare my evening meal

Their hope could be for anything, water still

As I say goodnight to my family, safe in their beads

Mother’s stay awake in agony, aching thoughts of fear occupy their heads

As I pray this evening, my heart will cry out

For comfort, peace and for love to pour down

God, hear our prayers, for those whos voice has been lost

Protect mother’s and their families, whos lives have been sought

God, hear our cry for mothers who weep

God, hear our cries for children who are stolen in their sleep

Innocence, Lord is ravaged everyday

Gives us your strength to send compassionate and tangable love their way

As we sit in our homes, our jobs or our cars

May we never forget those who have lost their lives or bare horrendous scars

As we go about, never let us grow complacent, but be ever aware

of the blessings we have for we could easily be on the other end of evils glare

God, hear our cries, for your children, today,

Protect them, Lord Jesus, come quickly, wipe this wickedness away




Is this all that will ever be

Will God make sense out of misery

Will we rise to our infinite great

Or will we fail to shine or emulate

For a greater purpose we were born

To rise above the average and norm

Become the person you were meant to be

To be your  greatest to soar so free

The flesh, it binds you to an unhealthy path

It ensnares you; death the aftermath

Two paths are available at all times

The path you choose; don’t go at it blind

Complacency is a dangerous choice

Choose said path you’ll lose your voice

The voice in which you were created to sing

That voice, if  you use, will be your greatest blessing

The blessing it is to follow the truth

To walk in light and be the best version of you

Don’t compromise, though it be a challenge

Hold your head up high and embrace the knowledge

The knowledge, it comes as you progress

Through life’s trials even during the stress

Learn all you can from this here life

Learn from others, don’t make the same mistake twice

Trust in your instinct and love all that you meet

Give until it hurts and share your beliefs

Be motivated by love in all that you do

Forgive others as you would want done to you

This life you have, you only get one

Will you inspire others or die unknown

You were created to accomplish more than you think

Don’t lose your life for something bleak

Take hold of the call God gave you from the beginning

Live with purpose and share that meaning

Be the greatest you can be, never comprise

Take your place and live a strong life

Let others see the greatness in you

Point others to Jesus, the life the Truth

Don’t waste your time here on this Earth

Live for something greater; be what you’re worth

Don’t waste this life that God has given you

Be something great and share His Truth








A Destiny of Love


I remember when we were just little girls

We were innocent then

Life had no demands

Our love was genuine

Not tainted by man

As we grew we learned the lessons our leaders spoke

Not knowing then the damage those lessons would invoke

I grew into a teen not knowing the legacy I would lead

I led you down an unhealthy path, indeed

I didn’t intend to lead you astray

Then I got saved I thought it natural you’d follow that way

For a time it lasted

But the enemy stole the seeds that were planted

I never could have guessed our end would be so tragic

The enemy worked a strong plan

He separated our lives due to choices from a man

But without a doubt I know it’s all in God’s hands

For today my dear sister, I am praying for you

For Love to surround you and for God to fill you too

Years have passed, you’ve grown so have I

To do it differently, I know I would try

We cannot change the past or the reasons as to why

Life changed for us on that tragic day

When I betrayed your trust and once again led you astray

To take it back I wish I could

Help you understand, I really would

Understand the reasons why

I made the choice that day

To involve the authorities

For I saw no other way

I loved you then and your children too

They meant the world to me

Just as they did to you too

I wanted help but didn’t know how to seek it

I made a choice I would regret and later wish I kept secret

I didn’t know how to help you back then

I loved you my sister and just wanted it to end

The pain that I knew you were going through

The life you lived I knew it wasn’t true

True to whom you wanted to be

But in a trap set from the enemy

A trap and you couldn’t break free

 I thought I had helped, it would break the curse

Little did I know it would backfire and reverse

The intent I had for the choice that I made

I wanted to free you but instead helped you become further  enslaved

To the master, he loved you, he claimed that for sure

But he stole you from our family and made you obscure

I wish I could have stopped the pain you went through

I wish I could have taken care of you

If I could have done it another way

Believe me, my sister I’d beg you to stay

How could he do this to you and to me

How could he do this to our sweet Destiny

I will never understand why things happen the way they do

But one thing I’m sure of, I will always love you

I think of you, and your babies, how you are as a mom

I hope that what I did helped you to better respond

I pray that you embrace the moments with your kids

And love them the way our parents never did

I pray for you tonight as you lay your head to rest

I pray that God give you peace and that you are blessed

I pray that God protects as you, as you live your life

I pray that as time passes you’ll allow me to try

To help you understand why I did what I did

I pray for protection for you and your kids

For understanding and forgiveness to fill your heart

And the time we’ve missed will be just the start

Of a new relationship that God will bring

Someday we’ll be reunited and together we’ll sing

The praises of what God can do

The praise of what faith can make true

I love you sister

I miss you everyday

And I long for the moments

That together we can say

We overcame this tragic past

And are stronger today

Fiercely I will pray for you

I will trust and believe that

This dream will come true

I believe that God has plan through this

Time will pass, and someday we will reminisce

Until the day you come back and we’re united again

I will love you and pray even until my life reaches its’ end

Photo Credit: Heartpaperscissors.com, Via the internets


What do you believe in and why? When you leave this life, where will you be when you die?
Are these days really all you get?
If God is real, have you met him yet?
If you think He’s not, what do you base it upon?
Have ever thought about why your heart beats on?
Is it all by chance, can that really be true?
Then life is meaningless and then so are you.
The tree in the ground, the birds in the air.
Everything is made with purpose, all things, everywhere.
To fulfill a purpose, is your own choice, to ignore a creator is your choice as well,
but just because you deny Him, doesn’t mean it negates hell. Heaven is true and created for all and you,
but if you deny Him here, it will be as real as the sky’s blue.
Look in the mirror, or into the sky, deny if it you Like but you cannot ignore the signs.
Signs of life are everywhere, ask Him and He will declare.
Who He is, His love for you and more.
He stands ready to receive you, can you hear Him knocking on your door?
Why do you believe, I challenge you to think.
Don’t ignore Him. Listen, He wants to speak.
Open your heart, let go of your own mind,
let Him change who you are, let Him show you He’s divine.
He is real, He is true. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.
Trust and believe with faith like a child, allow Him to show you and replace your fear With a smile. Nothing synthetic, but truth based on fact.
A truth that gives meaning and where logic can never lack.
Take a deep breath, feel your lungs take in the air.
The creator of the world, has placed you there.
Where you are now, this date and time.
Listen dear child you you we’re created by the Divine.
Can you hear Him, listen? He speaks with soft words.
Your life has a purpose, and no, Faith is not absurd.
Stop right now, and ask Him to speak to you.
Listen carefully, for He has a message of truth.
Truth, it’s who He is.
He is love, and it’s for you!
Choose today who you believe in….He’s the life, the way, the truth!

Small, Yet Extremely Wise


Dear Diary,

No wait. This is not my diary, but rather my personal blog. Hmm. Where should all of this go? Well, I’ve never been one to consistently write in my diary, although, it’s always been a dream to be the type of person who does. I have yet to accomplish that goal. Among so many others, as well. Anyway. I guess, human experience can connect us with mere strangers, and help us to feel that we are not alone on our journey.  And it can feel good to relate. Right? Maybe it’s just me. Who knows. So, here goes…

Dear bloggers,

Let me tell you about my morning, It’s kinda funny. You may laugh. You may cry. You may wonder why you’re even reading this blog. But, give me a few minutes; you may be able to relate to the technicalities.

So, the alarm goes off, 5:20 a.m., because I can’t very well get up on the half hour, that’s too normal. Who’s normal? Clearly, I am not. So, the alarm goes off, I hit snooze. Off to dreamland, even though I haven’t really had any dreams for about a month now. In what seems like only minutes, a half an hour passes by and I jump out of bed at 6:05 a.m.

Great. We woke up late. That always sends everyone into a frenzy. Cue the teenage daughter. Let the drama begin.

In hopes of easing her drama, and my pain, she jumps in the shower first. I’ll just wait, maybe pick out my clothes for the day.

Ugh. DO I really want to do that? I need a whole new wardrobe. I hate everything in my closet! Not to mention I’m carrying around an extra 30 pounds that really makes me look fat, frumpy, and makes everything I own look 100 times worse. I mean, if I were thin I could probably just wear all of my old clothes and at least look hipster or trendy. The old, worn look is in this season, right? I look homeless most days, and If I could find room in our budget, man, I’d look so fabulous. Everyday, the choice to look semi-decent or pauper-ish!  Oh, the struggle.

After 8 minutes of listening to her whine and complain about getting up late and not having time for everything she needs to do to get ready for school, the teenager gets out of the shower. My turn. I didn’t decide on any clothes.

Okay, I’ll shower, and then get a cup of coffee. That will help. My husband (He really is an amazing man!!) makes me a fresh cup of coffee every morning from our freely acquired (a blessing, right?) Keurig machine. You know, because spending 13 dollars on a 16 pack of K-cups that last a week to have a fresh, single couple of coffee is so much better than your average 6-7 dollar can of Folgers. That can can last a month, but single serve is better, right? I deserve a good cup of coffee, it’s all I really splurge on anyway. Well, maybe pizza every Friday, but I deserve that too, don’t I. Wait. Is this borderline narcissism? Probably.

Ahh, coffee, waiting for me as I exit the shower. Back to the teenage drama. It’s coming from the kitchen. I guess I can go and see if I can help the situation, cause I’m good at helping my husband defend himself from the tyrant that is our unhappy teenager. Not really, but I like to think so. He’s a man and typically makes better choices than I do. I should have left him alone. He is a man, and can stand his ground. No. I meddled anyway. I should have just continued to get myself ready for the day because what would happen next would only send me off the deep end into my own dramatic teenage frenzy, and I’m not a teenager!

Ants. In the kitchen. Again. Crawling all over the floor, searching for all of  the pieces of laziness. Now we’re moving the table and chairs and pulling out the stove to find out where their point of entry is. Little jerks. They’re everywhere. Feasting on all of my shortcomings, because you know we haven’t swept or mopped all week and goodness, we must be real pigs. It’s no wonder they’re in the kitchen. We’ve practically invited them to take up residence due to our cleanliness, or lack there of. But really, it wasn’t that bad! At 6 in the morning, it felt like a personal invasion of not just my house, but my sanity.

All of this while I’m in my pajamas. Hair still wet and uncombed from the shower. And, my coffee is sitting unattended, getting cold, in my bedroom. Not to mention we need to leave the house in 15 minutes.

Madness. What else could go wrong? Oh I better not think that. Because God knows, everything else could go wrong (No offense to you, Lord. You know I mean no disrespect. I love you. I do!). Be thankful. Count your blessings woman, and hurry up and put some clothes on so you don’t arrive at work nude.

In comes the daughter. “The cat peed on my rug, again.”

OH MY GOODNESS! Are you kidding. This cat. What the heck is wrong with her. Whatever. As I walk down our small hallway, the stench of cat urine fills the air. Ahhh. Fabulous morning thus far. I hate the cat. Both cats. I wish they would go away forever. Why does she do this? What is wrong with her? Doesn’t she know we have shelled out over a THOUSAND dollars this passed  year to keep her alive and now she wants to die by the hands of the one who feeds her. She must have a death wish. Maybe that’s it. She’s suicidal but lacks the ability to do something about it. This is her master plan, I just know it. I should of just let her die back when she got sick. Goodness, I’m such an awful person. How could I think these thoughts?

On to the bathroom. Do something with that hair. What am I gonna do with it? I should never have cut it. At least when it was long I could just pull it all up into a bun and be done with it. But no. I had to cut it all off. The headaches, remember? Now, it’s too short to pull up. I cant just let it air dry, because I don’t have that type of hair. I don’t have time. Pull it up the best you can and GET DRESSED!

Well. Now back at the closet of despair. Ahhh. I hate my life. I hate this closet. I hate these clothes. And I hate being fat. I should have went running this morning. I could have handled all of this much better had I ran. This sucks.

Clothes, woman, you need clothes and you need to meet the hubby and the teenager in the car to leave the house. CLOTHES. Put some on and get out the door.

But my coffee. Over there on  my desk. Losing it’s intensity as the moments slip through my hands into what is the stench of my Friday morning.

Take a sip, you’ll feel better. God, help me get through this morning. Please.

I grabbed my comfy jeans and an old, comfy black T-shirt. Pretty standard, really. Jeans and a black shirt. If I die today, please, burn me in my jeans and black shirt. Any other attire would be ludicrous.

Well, I’m not dead yet.

I grab my coffee, scrounge up my things, and head out the door. First I tip-toe through the teenage son’s bedroom, to yell good bye, as he sleeps away 7 am. Tarzan would get hurt in there. Oh geez. And with all of that mess, I bet the ants are in there too. Ahh. but I love that son of ours, more than he will ever understand in his 15 year old mind.

Finally. In the car. A half an hour later than our usual departure time. Wow. The teenage girl will be late, for sure. Inhale. Exhale. Sip on the luke warm coffee.

So as we drive down the road I will leave the morning at the house behind me and blaze a trail to school and work. As we drive I must apply my make-up, of course. Thankfully, the hubby is driving. Besides, I can’t show up at working looking like I hadn’t worked a real job in 5 years. My clothes were pathetic enough. I didn’t need my face to match the outfit. You try putting on eyeliner at 40 miles an hour. The lines never match up. But, at least I went from looking like a squinty-eyed mole rat to just a really exhausted, woman in my LATE thirties, who just put on her eyeliner in the car. Improvement, right? Not so much. But. it’s the best for this morning so it will have to suffice. It has to.

Well, we got the teenage drama queen to school, at 8 on the dot. Nothing short of a miracle, really. Especially considering we were being driven by my ever so law- abiding husband who makes 90 year old drivers look dangerous. He really is a cautious and very good driver. Unlike me who during our 21 years of being together has never been in one accident. I’ve been in a few small fender benders and 1 where our car was a total loss. That sucked.

I got to work feeling tired, fat, vagabond-ish and flustered. Ahh. nothing like a great morning before getting to work. Sigh.

I was early, as usual.  I was gonna heat up my coffee that I hadn’t finished and sit quietly as I gathered my thoughts. I will throw on my pandora, listen to some good ol’ fashion gospel, and get my priorities in check. Reading some written word, and listening to some calming music will change my whole perspective.

Guess what I forgot?

The lifeline to the modernized world. I knew there was a reason why I never wanted to convert to a bible app, exclusively. I should just by an old school pocket bible like I used to have years back. I should just carry around a tape player. That’s how I used to get my Ron Kenoly back in the day. Recorded worship music, because piracy wasn’t really a thing back then.

I guess I will just sit here, in silence. Suffer in silence. Oh God, I need you, in this day, in this moment. At this job. Be with me.

How will all of this work together for my good? What will be the fruit of this chaotic morning? Well, let me see if I can sum it up.

The lateness is a character flaw in which I need to exercise more discipline. Get up at the first bell, and never hit snooze. A new rule to implement. Let’s see how that goes tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday. I guess I can try on Monday.

Teenage daughters. Well, they grow up. It’s a phase and once their hormones are done doing what they need to do to produce a beautiful young lady, she will be normal, again. She will be all grown up at that point, so I will just have to accept the drama and make the most of it, before she’s gone. God, I love my babies so much. It just doesn’t seem fair that they go through an awkward stage toward the end of child-rearing, and then when they finally make it through, they’re off living their own life and you can’t hug them and love them as much as before the teenage phase. I love them, so much!!! Gasp.

Ants. It is estimated that there are, at any point in time, 10 trillion ants alive, on this planet. They can lift 3 times as much as their own body weight, and together, as a colony have the capacity of a human mind. They are smart little critters and know how to preserve their existence. Now, whether or not they will ever cease to exist in our home and or yard; that is up for debate. Given their track record, we are fighting a losing battle. So, at best, we will just have to keep our guard up, and our floor swept. Sparkling, if you will. Cinderella, Cinderella.

As for the cats. Well. I can always just break my children’s hearts and tell them that their favorite childhood pets will be annihilated by their crazy insane mother who doesn’t have the brain capacity to handle defiant, narcissistic animals. Hmm. do you see any ironic themes going on here?

Oh wait. I CANNOT forget the clothes/fat issue. I have spent countless hours, days, months and years trying to be thin and only happy when I was. I will accept my chubby stature and work harder to maintain health, not a size. In this case size is just another one of those annoyances that you just have to tolerate until you have the ability to make a dramatic change. I will run it outta me..someday soon. But, the fat will not determine my happiness as it once did.

The lesson of the day: We make our plans, but God Directs our steps.

When the mornings don’t turn out quite like we’d like, we can rest assured knowing that even small happenings can turn into life lessons that can develop some much needed character.

Enjoy the good. Endure the not so good and know that all of these things work to develop your character. I will become a better, more patient person thanks to my battle with the ants.

And cats.

And Teenagers.

And FAT!

James 1:2-4-Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you encounter trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Victory over crazy Friday mornings, have I! HMMMMM (Insert Yoda voice here!)



Humble Belief.

When all else fails

I will believe

Your past does not define you

When everyone turns their backs

I will pray for you

Your mistakes do not make you

when everything seems to go array

when life isn’t making any sense

even when you haven’t prayed

when you feel like nothing even matters

when life seems different

and dreams have shattered

I will believe in you

who cares what they say

who cares what they think

For our God is for You

He’ll save you from the brink

the brink of death

as it lurks at your door

but He is stronger

their words are no more

believe in yourself

you will make it someday

come back to your God

He will make a way

I know you can do it

I believe that you can

for our God is greater than any mans plan

He sees you there

He knows your doubts

Hes waiting for you

so go ahead, reach out

take a hold of His hand

let Him lead you away

from your own devices

that once led you astray

this is your walk

no one can compare

when the path is over

they will not be there

not her or him, or they or them

its your path only

not for other men

so let go now

of the ways that hold you

Grab hold of God

and let Him mold you

In His hands

all things can change

In His timing

life can be rearranged

the best for you is yet to come

I believe it can happen

Because I believe in the one

the one who came and did it for me

who cleansed me

saved me

and set me free

no respecter of persons

for one and for all

justice for the living

He took our fall

so fall in to His loving embrace

and let Him lead you

to complete this race

See the blessings

and embrace your fate

for you can run and try to hide

but He’ll seek you out

make you swallow that pride

let it go

you’ll fly so free

to be the person

you were created to be

I believe in you

because He believed in me

trust Him again

Be who you were meant to be

Allow Him to once again

set you free

Be free





Days were long then

Filled with purpose and a plan

Not enough hours

To complete all the challenges

Days seemed like they’d always be the same

Minutes ticked by

Going no place

So it seemed

Passing into history

Life had a meaning then

Now just a memory

Those days are no more

A vapor only remembered

Now the days are long

Nothing like before

Purpose is obscure

Minutes tick away

Leaving purpose in a blur

How did it change

How did I get here

Where are the days that held the meaning

It used to be so clear

Where is the purpose now

Its almost so demeaning

Eating away at my life

Moment by moment

I watch it slip by

Into eternity, time is lost forever

How did I get here

Will it ever change

The one thing time has told me

It never remains the same

Change is inevitable

Hold tight, my dear child

For this too has meaning

A purpose for your growth

Your character will bloom

This will produce fruit

Wait until the season is over

The harvest will be abundant

You will thank me for the delay

For in that delay your purpose has been refined

Don’t question my timing

Trust and remain obedient

Know that through the weary days

This too has a purpose

You cannot see,  how I see you

You cannot see, what I’m doing for you

But know this my dear daughter

This season too has meaning

Like precious metal in the fire

You will come out shining

A masterpiece, created by me

A work of art

Meant for all to see

My glory will be radiant

You will shine like the moon

Others will see my glory

Flower ready to bloom

You will see the purpose through the confusion

All in My time

Trust It like the air you breath

Hold to It like your life depends upon It

For it does

Keep your head held high

Trust in my plans for you

Never let fear stop the growth you’re going through

Trust. Believe. Hold tight to your faith

For I have never left you alone

Never left you to your own fate

All things have a purpose

A reason for the emotion

Trust me, dear child

For my love is like an ocean

An ocean to consume you during the times when you may doubt

Water to rush over you

When the fear wants to take you out

Living water to flow through you

To fill you internally with the strength that you need

To endure through this season

And during anytime you may want to flee

I have never left you, my beautiful girl

I will be here through this time

Trust me.

Hear My spirit leading

In the deep, dark time

You are not alone

Hear My whisper

Let My spirit comfort you

You will make it through

Trust. Believe.

You are not alone.